A week ago on MLK Day my good friend Marta and I caught up with each other over lunch.
During our conversation I shared something with her that had been plaguing me for a while and seemed to be getting worse.
At first I was a bit awkward; it was just so personal. But over the last of the chips and queso I found the courage to share my vulnerability.
I’m usually a centered, energetic , happy person. I know where I'm going. I'm always looking forward to the journey and full of passion as I make or mark the path that gets me to my destination.
But for about the last year I'd not been feeling myself. I was a little off and couldn't seem to talk my way, feel my way or get out of my way. And as much as I hate to admit it, I was starting to feel a bit reclusive and protective while flapping around in self-doubt and anxiety.
It seems simple now, post Marta conversation. But it was our chat that helped me define this jumble of feelings as a simple but powerful lapse in confidence.
With Marta’s help I stopped sloshing around in my emotional murky waters and figured out with certainty what had precipitated my funk.
I’d had a very successful six-year business contract that had ended badly several years ago. And now I was making a mistake so many of us make.
Instead of remembering the good and the bad of that situation, I was unconsciously concentrating on the last painful moments of that contract. In the story I was living, I was not focused on the fullness of the experience and my love of the work. Instead I focused on the disappointing end.
Once I was conscious of what I was doing, I felt the most wonderful emotional release. Because once a negative thought or action has been defined, it immediately, in that moment, starts to lose its power.
I can't tell you how much better I'm feeling; how much stronger and more focus are my actions, how creative and optimistic my mood!
I guess the moral of this post is: find your “Marta.”
Find the person you can confide in. Especially on this entrepreneurial journey which is so often a lonely journey; find the person that is compassionate and empathetic.
But also the one that will listen to your story, ask the right questions that facilitates understanding and then gently challenges you to get back in the game, back on your purpose.
So there you have - my detour and the journey back to me.