Caution: this post is probably too personal. . .but
hopefully helpful
This is hard for me to admit but
I find it very difficult asking people for anything. I'm gracious accepting help and support; it’s hard for me to ask for it.
If it’s guidance I need, that
seems to be a bit easier; I’m highly coachable. However, if it’s a hand I need
or help I require in meeting a personal goal then I become a bit agitated and
have been known to drop into “monkey mind[1].”
Now, my longtime boyfriend (which
is a strange title to give to anyone when you reach my age but I've not come up
with a suitable replacement for it so far; partner sounds. . .odd) Anyway he'd say I ask for things with
ease. “Honey would you take out the
trash?” “Sweetie did you notice my car
needs washing and while you're at it would you check the oil.” “Lamb chop the business is not doing what it
needs to, would you mind picking up and paying all of my household
responsibilities??”
So maybe I
should amend that first statement; I have difficulty asking most people for support. I have to admit it can be pretty bad. My index finger hovers just above the
left-hand side of my mouse as I decide to invite someone to be my FB
friend. I go into monkey mind; she’s a
friend right?? Does she consider herself
a friend? When was the last time I've really seen her? Maybe it’s too
much. No it’s not too much. . .
I’m going to
blame it on my Midwestern upbringing where the victory is in doing every last
bit of it yourself, even if it takes you twice as long.
But what I know
from living life and especially living life as an entrepreneur is that without
the help and support of people it simply won't happen. And honestly people are helping along the way
whether we're aware of it or not (that’s why it’s best to stay in gratitude.)
I've been
percolating on a business idea for close to two years that will fundamentally
change the way we look at business basics and business planning and will result
in an increased percentage of small business success.
I’m going to
need to ask for help (and lots of it) to make it happen.
So after some focused
thought I'm changing my mind; rewriting my story with regards to asking for help.
The new story
I’m trying on for size sounds like this: I'm asking for help because I want to
make a bigger contribution than I could make on my own. I'm asking for help because I realize I
cannot do it on my own and intrinsically people want to help each other (this
is something I know for sure; I see it daily in myself and in others.) Asking for help is not aligned with
weakness. Rather it symbolizes strength,
optimism and reinforces a healthy dose of interdependence.
I'm the first to
admit this is a process. Change of mind
is not always easy but I know it’s possible and in this instance, vital.
[1]
Monkey Mind is one of my FAVORITE PHRASES; I think I've used it before in some
other posts. Monkey Mind is a Buddhist term that describes an undisciplined
mind; jumping from thought to thought like a monkey jumps from tree to
tree. The monkey mind is not content
with existing in the present moment, but rather is constantly distracted by the
thoughts that pass through it. Knowing
when you're involved in monkey mind is a good thing - if you're aware it’s
easier to stop the crazy.
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